| A new post |
[Sep. 9th, 2005|05:59 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | melancholy | ] | I haven't updated this livejournal in a long long time. Most of my entries are posted on my Blogger blog.
But Livejournal allows me to restrict access to posts, and with the
death of my husband ten days ago, I'm feeling like some posts are too
personal for the 200+ eyes that read the other blog daily.
So I'm back here -- temporarily, infrequently, sneekily. Heartbroken.
|
|
|
| Still more dissertation downers |
[May. 13th, 2005|07:27 am] |
Continued from here
6. One of my chapters requires watching films that no one here in the US has copies of. DVD release has been perpetually "forthcoming."
7. Several of my chapters require travel to libraries and archives far far away.
8. I'm not sure how I can swing travel and research right now... or in the near future. |
|
|
| Collateral Damage |
[May. 13th, 2005|06:55 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | angry | ] |
Another tragic day in US
history
Twenty years ago today,
the Philadelphia police, with the support of local officials and the FBI,
dropped a bomb on the headquarters of MOVE, a radical African American
collective. The fire started at the
MOVE house and spread throughout the neighborhood, destroying
61 homes, killing five children and six adults, and leaving over 200 people
homeless.

I encourage you to read
the novelist Alice Walker’s essay, “Nobody was supposed to live.” |
|
|
| More dissertation downers |
[May. 12th, 2005|09:07 am] |
A continuing series, started here
5. The head of my department claims she was able to write her dissertation, even though she was caretaking her dying father. |
|
|
| More concerns over academic freedom... |
[May. 11th, 2005|03:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | angry | ] | In Support of David Graeber by Andrej Grubacic
Recently
David Graeber and I wrote an article together attempting to explain why
anarchist ideas have received almost no attention in the academy. When
you think of it, academia is full of Marxist radicals, but only a
handful of professed anarchists. We came to a conclusion that it must
have something to do with anarchism's concern with forms of practice;
with its insistence that one's means most be consonant with one's ends;
with its stubborn rejection of the idea that we can create freedom
through authoritarian means, embracing instead the position that we
should embody the society we wish to create. All of this does not
square very well with operating within a university. The university has
survived in much the same form since the middle ages, waging
intellectual battles at conferences, re-enforcing class distinctions,
making cabalistic decisions in secret rooms. As we stated in our
article: "At the very least, one would imagine being an openly
anarchist professor would mean challenging the way universities are run
and that, of course, is going to get one in far more trouble than
anything one could ever write".
Ironically
enough, as if he was testing his own hypothesis, internationally
respected anarchist anthropologist, David Graeber, was fired from Yale
University a few days ago. Of course, that wasn't the official
explanation. The official one reads that "his contract wasn't renewed"
because of his lack of "collegiality". If you would allow me to
translate this: the "lack of collegiality" that David had showed was
when he was trying to defend his graduate students who were graduate
union organizers. Union organizers are regularly targeted at Yale. When
one brilliant graduate student organizer was almost kicked out for
clearly fabricated reasons, David Graeber was the only member of her
committee with the courage to openly stand up for her at that committee
meeting, and then later at a faculty meeting. On david Graeber's
behalf, Yale graduate students have initiated a petition which has been
signed by almost all graduate and good number of undergraduate students
of anthropology.
So,
why has David Graeber been given the boot? To begin with the obvious,
he is an unrepentant anarchist. David Graeber was one of the
spokespeople for the Anti Capitalist Convergence during the World
Economic Forum protests in New York. He was an activist with Direct
Action Network. He is one of the founding members of the Peoples Global
Action infopoint in New York. And he had authored many essays and
articles on anarchism. But he never did any organizing or activism on
campus.
What
perhaps was David Graeber's greatest crime was simply his apparently
over optimistic belief that he could remain true to his anarchist
principles within the academy. Graeber believes that graduate school
should be more than a training camp for becoming a commodity on the
academic market. Rather it should also be about joy and creativity.
Anyone who goes through a graduate program knows that such institutions
are all about socialization as an academic, much of which requires the
destruction of the sense of joy and creativity in learning, thinking
and imagining that draws people to become scholars in the first place.
For certain, some universities are worse then others. For various
reasons, Yale seems to specialize in this kind of soul-crushing sport.
David
Graeber offered his students an alternative model. He believes that
it's possible to be an academic intellectual and not an academic
prostitute, that it is possible not to sacrifice everything that makes
life enjoyable, that it is possible to be both intellectually
productive and politically committed. Given such convictions, is it
little wonder that David Graeber was given the boot?
As
a close friend of David's, I have witnessed a somewhat frantic activity
on the behalf of a few members of the Yale faculty to have him fired.
Not incidentally, these faculty members have not been speaking to David
since his name was mentioned in the papers in conjunction with the WEF
protests three years ago. But ostracizing him was difficult. Not only
because of few decent colleagues who ardently defended him. Since that
time David has published two well respected books and articles in
dozens of languages. Last year the Yale bureaucracy renewed David's
contract for only two years, citing his behavior as not being in
accordance with Yale's "academic ethics" and said that his contract
might be extended two more years if he improved "his behavior".
Last
Tuesday a meeting was held to consider David's reappointment. Only
senior faculty were allowed to attend and David was not permitted to
respond to his accusations, nor where his accusers expected to present
evidence. After an extended slander fest, participants seem to have
concluded that it doesn't really matter if the accusations are false
and trivial, because his presence is clearly divisive thus it would be
safer to just kick him out.
As
someone who has spent many wonderful moments with David, I am certainly
not neutral here. But neither should you be. This issue extends beyond
the academic career of David Graeber. And beyond the price one may have
to pay for advocating anarchism in the academy. In this country, at
this exciting and surreal point of its history, this could happen, as
it already has, on so many different levels, to anybody who refuses to
participate in the Salem-like atmosphere that is being systematically
promoted in institutions like Yale, or Columbia, or Colorado. To
support David Graeber is to say that we have had enough of this
nation-wide persecution of leftist professors, accused of 'falsifying'
their "Native American identity", of supporting anti-Semitism, or of
being anarchists. To support David Graeber means to support academic
freedom and to reject the conformist dictate of fear and obedience in
the US academy. |
|
|
| What I Learned from Rolling Stone |
[May. 11th, 2005|09:09 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | enraged | ] | Damn, I am pleased with my new subscription to Rolling Stone Magazine,
in no small part because Badger-boy sat down and read an article... no,
not on the Motley Crue reunion tour, but on the similarities between
the Iraq War and the War in Vietnam. (Full text available here)
Here's an interesting set of statistics from the article, comparing "Iraq and Vietnam: Two Years in":
|
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Iraq
|
Vietnam
|
|
Grounds for starting war
|
WMDs
|
Gulf of Tonkin “attack”
|
|
Cost (in 2005 dollars)
|
$192 billion
|
$38.2 billion
|
|
US troops deployed
|
150,000
|
425,300
|
|
US soldiers killed
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1535
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8475
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US soldiers wounded
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11,888
|
37,329
|
|
Civilians killed (estimated)
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98,000
|
2 million *
|
|
Journalists killed
|
51
|
63 *
|
|
Presidential report on war status
|
“Freedom is on the march in Iraq. These are exciting times. We’re making progress there.” George W. Bush, February 28, 2005
|
“We are inflicting greater losses than we are taking. We are making progress.” Lyndon Johnson, November 17, 1967
|
The numbers for the initial stage of each war offer some
striking parallels. (Figures for
Vietnam cover 1964-66, except where asterisks indicate data for entire war)
|
|
|
| Sign #21384 of the End of the World |
[May. 10th, 2005|06:23 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | confused | ] | Bush reviewing the troops at Red Square?!?

(OK, I can't find a picture of him watching the tanks roll by.)
As Spock once said, "Only Nixon can go to China." Apparently, only the Shrub can review the Red Army.
|
|
|
| Ha! |
[May. 10th, 2005|06:13 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
Your English Skills:
|
Grammar: 100% |
Punctuation: 100% |
Spelling: 100% |
Vocabulary: 100% |
|
|
|
| A Rolling Stone gathers no moss |
[May. 9th, 2005|07:12 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | blah | ] |
Badger-boy’s school had a
fundraiser earlier this year – a magazine sale. Always the “sucka” parent, I decided I wasn’t receiving enough
junk mail, and I decided I’d help him out and order something. But frankly, I don’t care to read 99.999% of
magazines. Fashion? Blech.
Crafts? No time. Better Homes and Gardens? Better not look too closely at my lousy
housekeeping skills. Much to my
surprise, one of the cheapest magazines on his list was Rolling Stone. So that’s what I ordered. And the first issue of my subscription
arrived Saturday, along with their special issue on the Top 100 artists of all
time.
Oh man, how I loved this
magazine as a teenager. I had a collage
hanging on the wall of my bedroom made from all the “cool” covers. This was my favorite:

Getting Rolling Stone made
me realize how old and out-of-touch I am with “what’s cool.” But
fortunately, there was an article on
Duran Duran – “then” and “now.” And now I can brush up on my
music gossip. (Badger-boy will have a pop-quiz later this
afternoon on the Top 100 artists. I was dismayed by his
lack of music knowledge and his inability to identify these
"influential" artists from their pictures. Although to his
credit, he was able to recognize NWA and name three of the members.)
I would start a new
collection of Rolling Stone covers as wall decoration. A friend
gave me the recent issue that had Johnny Depp on the front (swoon!). Too bad the issue I received on Saturday had
Weezer, not John Taylor from Duran Duran on the cover! |
|
|
| Keep your hollow Hallmark wishes; I want peace on earth for Mothers' Day |
[May. 8th, 2005|02:34 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] | Julia Ward Howe's Mother's Day Proclamation (1870):
Arise then...women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts!
Whether your baptism be of water or of tears!
Say firmly:
"We will not have questions answered by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage,
For caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and
patience.
We, the women of one country,
Will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."
From the voice of a devastated Earth a voice goes up with
Our own. It says: "Disarm! Disarm!
The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."
Blood does not wipe our dishonor,
Nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil
At the summons of war,
Let women now leave all that may be left of home
For a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the
dead.
Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the
means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace...
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of
Caesar,
But of God -
In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of
nationality,
May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient
And the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.
|
|
|
| Not Nerdy Enough |
[May. 7th, 2005|03:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | annoyed | ] |
Nerd wannabe?! I thought filling out the application to graduate school automatically negated any coolness one might've possessed! |
|
|
| My first blog interview |
[May. 6th, 2005|05:26 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
Damn good questions,
provided by Gothmog
1. Favorite fictional work of literature to
teach, and why?
Having been stuck teaching
college composition for some time – Sartre said “Hell is other people,” but
truly, hell is teaching Writing 122 – I’ve only been “privileged” enough to
teach literature for a year or so.
So, of the texts I’ve
taught thus far, my favorites are Shakespeare’s Henry IV, Part One and
Rabelais’s Gargantua and Pantagruel – somewhat surprising, since I specialize
in 20th century lit.
Rabelais’s books are great since students are *shocked* that a sixteenth
century monk could fill a book with so many fart jokes. Rabelais segues nicely into a discussion of Bakhtin and even South Park. Check out
this title in a recent academic journal:
“South Park's Solar Anus, or, Rabelais Returns: Cultures of Consumption
and the Contemporary Aesthetic of Obscenity.”
Sometimes, I just love the academy. (Sometimes)
And Henry IV was an
interesting play to teach, partly because of good ol’ (pathetic) Falstaff, and
partly because it provides a great opportunity to teach Freudian concepts. (You know the routine -- Hal must reject the maternal
figure of Falstaff and learn to identify with his father Henry Bolingbroke in
order to enter the socio-political world).
Plus, with Henry IV, one can show My Own Private Idaho, featuring
Keanu Reeves, the greatest Brechtian actor of our time.
2. What will be your first official act after being elected Queen of the World?
(yes, for an anarchist, this does indeed constitute irony)
Well, let’s hope I’m not
elected. That would be embarrassing for
an anarchist. Let’s hope I’m appointed
by God, mkay?
I’d like to be a political
queen, not merely a figurehead. No
profiles on coins or stamps, thank you very much.
So, when I am Queen of the
World, I am going to free all political prisoners, especially Jeffrey Luers. Then I’m going to turn the
throne over to Assata Shakur, and let the good times roll.
3. Tell the story Badgerboy would pay the most money for you not to tell his
future adult friends, ever.
Right now, he’s mortified
of all the pictures we have of him in tie dyes. He’s embarrassed that his first concert was the Grateful
Dead. But in 10 years, this all might
be uber-cool, and he’ll wish we hadn’t sold the ’69 VW Van (we haven’t
yet. Anyone interested in buying?).
So depending on
Badgerboy’s religious beliefs (and on the direction this country takes in the
next 10 years), this story is sure to constitute embarrassment… or imprisonment
– for Badgerboy and/or for me.
When Badgerboy was in the
“What’s that?” toddler stage, the heretical Mr. Badger thought it’d be humorous
to tell him that the correct term for the toilet plunger was “bible.” One day, when the toilet was backed up,
Badgerboy ran out into the living room (we had company – of course), yelling
“Quick, grab the bible, the toilet’s flooding.”
4. Complete this sentence, with an explanation: "I'm embarrassed to admit
it, but I really like(d)..."
KISS. I wanted to be in the KISS
Army. I wanted to be one of those girls
on the cover of Love Gun groveling at the feet of Peter Criss, Ace Frehley, and Paul Stanley.

(For the record: Fuck you Gene Simmons. I never fantasized about your filthy,
fascist face. In fact, here’s the link to the NPR Fresh Air interview that you don’t want anyone to hear ‘cause you’re
such a misogynist pig)
Now that I’ve looked up
the KISS discography, however, I see that Love Gun came out in ’77. So thankfully I was far too young to be
inducted. I do blame the babysitter who
introduced me to KISS for the whole sick fascination with big-hair-metal-bands
that made me want to sleep with guys like this:
Eewww.
5. Most misunderstood
historical figure?
Hmmm, probably Friedrich
Nietzsche. Many people read him
literally (and wrongly, I think) and point to his ideas of “masters and slaves”
and “will to power” as some sort of proto-Nazism. Like many great thinkers who were “crazy,” lots of misinformation
also surrounds his madness. Although
people believed for some times he had syphilis, a recent medical journal suggests
this might not be true. And right now, I’m reading a book called I Am Not Man, I Am Dynamite: Friedrich
Nietzsche and the Anarchist Tradition that links his ideas of philosophy, history and aesthetics to anarchy. Fascinating stuff.
Rules for those of you
interested in further interviews...
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions of my choosing.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions. If you don't
have a blog, you can post your responses in my comments section.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in
the same post, following the same rules. |
|
|
| Middle school is scary |
[May. 5th, 2005|06:52 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | shocked | ] | Badger boy is having a rough time at middle school:
1) last week, one of the 8th grade language arts teachers was
arrested for "public indecency." Come to find out, the creep was
sitting in a park and masterbating as female joggers went by.
"Gross," badger boy admitted, but material for lots of great jokes.
2) yesterday, school officials discovered two "bombs" in two of
the boys' bathrooms. They were immediately discernable as fakes,
but badger boy is nervous. "If it'd gone off, I'd be dead," he
said.
Great. Just when I thought he was starting to excel in school
(recently honored as the Most Improved Student in science and as the
Student of the Week), now THIS!
"What's next?!?" he asked me last night. Summer vacation, I hope.
|
|
|
| May 4, 1970 - May We Never Forget... |
[May. 4th, 2005|06:55 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
Today is the 35th
anniversary of the Kent State massacre, when the Ohio National Guard fired on
students protesting the Vietnam War and Nixon’s recently announced Cambodia
bombing campaign. Four students were
killed
ALISON KRAUSE (age 19)
JEFFREY MILLER (age 20)
SANDRA SCHEUER (age 20)
WILLIAM SCHROEDER (age 19)
and nine were wounded.

Nixon, who had recently
called student protesters “bums,” responded by saying “This should
remind us all once again that when dissent turns to violence it invites
tragedy,” clearly blaming the activists, not the guardsmen, for the bloodshed.
It
saddens me to think of the loss of life on that campus that day, and
the loss of life at Jackson State ten days later, when Mississippi
State police officers opened fire on the men's dormitory, killing
PHILIP LAFAYETTE GIBBS (age 21) and JAMES EARL GREEN (age 17).
And I am angered by the misconstrual of
activists—now and then—as the harbingers of violence and terrorism. Dissent is a cornerstone of the freedoms
this country allegedly holds dear.
On the anniversary of this tragic day
in US history, I ask that everyone think hard not only about these freedoms and
rights (for they are indeed under attack from the likes of the US Patriot Act
that links dissent to domestic terrorism), but about US imperialism and whether
you have done enough, shouted enough, protested enough to bring today’s cruel
government and unjust war to an end.
|
|
|
| Analyze THIS! |
[May. 3rd, 2005|08:36 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | crazy | ] |
I had this dream Sunday night. (I should’ve written about it yesterday, but I was too busy
ranting about my Marxist theory class.
See entry below).
The context:
My department has been going through a lot of upheaval and
reordering lately. It was time for a regime
change, no doubt. But some of the new
policies are obviously weighing on my unconscious. And obviously, I’m going through a lot of personal shit to
boot. And personal shit is never
welcome in the Ivory Tower.
The dream:
My department assigns incoming graduate students a “mentor,”
someone in the program with similar interests so we can help them navigate
their way through the complexities of university life. And the department assigned me… Constantine
Maroulis.

I was pissed off. I
asked the head of the program why she’d assigned him to me. I mean, he and I don’t have the same
academic interests. She replied, “you
study reality TV.”
“Wha?” I said. “Isn’t
that a little unfair to pigeon-hole Constantine for appearing on American
Idol? I mean, he’s been accepted
into a PhD program in Comparative Literature.
It’s not like we should judge him for being on TV.”
The conversation devolved into a huge argument about her
direction for the program, her definitions of what constitutes “good literary
studies,” and who is a “winner” or a “loser” in the game.
The interpretation:
The academy has spoken. I've been voted off the island.
|
|
|
| Help! I'm being throttled! |
[May. 1st, 2005|08:57 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | angry | ] | Silly me. I thought I'd found a corporation that I was willing to
endorse. I should've known that when the motivation is profit,
that the interests of "the little guy" will be neglected.
My cinephile friends had recommended Netflix
for quite some time. But with a Blockbusters four blocks away, I
never felt particularly compelled to trade the convenience of a local
store with shelves to browse for a service that forced me to wait on
queues and shipping.
Then Blockbusters implemented their asinine "No late fees"
policy, and the New Releases shelves were perpetually empty. As
people lost the motivation to turn movies back in, the selection at my
local store, already mediocre, become utterly laughable. I think
I watched three seasons of CSI on DVD while waiting for someone to
return The Motorcycle Diaries.
So I thought I'd try Netflix, and sure enough, I received The Motorcycle Diaries, Shark Tale (also all checked out at Blockbusters, despite the fact they had a gazillion copies) and Little Caesar (not available at Blockbusters since they prefer to have a gazillion copies of Shark Tale and Legally Blonde 2 than actually stock "the classics") THE NEXT DAY.
I was in love.
With a distribution center 45 miles away, I could receive, watch, and return a film really quickly.
Too quickly, apparently.
Beginning last week, I noticed a dramatic increase in shipping time. Netflix claimed to have put Shaolin Soccer in the mail on Monday; it didn't arrive 'til Wednesday. Damn USPS, I thought. Then Youth of the Beast, shipped Wednesday, didn't arrive 'til Saturday. And Biggie and Tupac, shipped Thursday, still isn't here.
A little online sleuthing informed me of the Netflix practice of "throttling,"
slowing down the service for heavy users so as to limit their number of
rentals per month. I'm not sure what counts as a "heavy
usage." According to my rental history, I average about 15 movies
per month.
So I'm pissed off, partly because I loved receiving the red envelope in
the mail with such frequency, and partly because my hands are
tied. I can hardly complain or make demands since I'm clearly an
unprofitable customer. Netflix probably hopes to drive me away,
so I burden Blockbusters' pockets, not theirs.
According to the Netflix website, "we are able to provide nearly 90 percent of our subscribers with delivery of their DVDs in about one business day." Badger's lesson for the day: corporations, even ones with a great movie selection, are liars.
Unlimited rentals, my ass.
|
|
|
| One Small Step for Womankind |
[Apr. 22nd, 2005|04:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | accomplished | ] | Another bastion of male supremacy infiltrated by yours truly.
This time: The Mechanic.
I've always hated mechanics. Much like dentists and priests,
their profession relies far too much on shame, fear, and extortion, not
to mention sacred knowledge historically deemed unfit for the "weaker
sex."
Twice now, I've had some oily brute chastise me about the lack of
attention I've paid to the squeaks and drips my car's made. "You
mean to say you didn't hear anything?" one asshole barked, holding up
some brake shoes that were, admittedly, worn to shreds. "Ha ha
ha," he guffawed, along with the three or four other fat-ass,
smudgy-faced, jumpsuit-wearing punks who laughed at me as I shelled out
the $250 for the "service" -- the humiliation, I guess, was a free
bonus.
So when the brakes on the Subaru made their first squeak, I knew I was
going to have to face my fear and loathing. I tried to get
Anthony to deal with it. Trust me, I tried. I hate invoking
a rigid gender division: me Tarzan, me fix car; you Jane, you
bake bread. I mean, hell, I do our taxes! And Anthony ('til
recently at least) does laundry. Rather, I rationalize the
automotive upkeep as his job
because the mechanics I've interacted with are chauvinist pigs. I
figure, as a heterosexual woman, I will invoke this privilege if it'll
save me a little money and a lotta face.
Well, with all that's happened in our world lately, the squeaky brakes
were ignored. Then the clutch pedal started sticking. (Not
so bad, of course, that I couldn't ignore that too). And I'm sure
with all our trips up to Portland and back, that the oil was well
overdue for a change. (Every 3000 miles?!? Hell, I've
always ignored that.)
But I did it today. I took the car in. And believe it or
not, I survived, dignity (entirely) and pocketbook (mostly)
intact. This is in no small part to the kindness and courtesy of
the female mechanic who listened (without mocking) and fixed (without frightening).
So I did it. Another "manly" chore I can handle. And
another wa-fucking-hoo, just like my thrill at starting the lawnmower
for the first time. 'Cause these little triumphs are encouraged
by a gravely ill husband who is insisting I learn about clutch pressure
plates and dipsticks, about lawnmower sparkplugs, about the different
drawers in the toolbox, all so I can handle things "alone."
|
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Apr. 21st, 2005|02:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | curious | ] | I was going to write something about the joy of
reading Herbert Marcuse’s One Dimensional Man. Something about the shock and consternation and amazement that I
agreed in large part with what a Freudian Marxist had to say. But now I’m reading an excerpt from Eros
and Civilization on aesthetics, and well, saying I like it? I just Kant. |
|
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